The sun feels different in Westchester. The summer air smells different than back home in Cumberland County as well. The mansion provides the noise Paige is used to with the students unable to return home for the break making their presence known. But it's not quite the same as being woken early by her brothers and sisters or by the smell of pancakes cooking on the stove. Not even on the days when there is the scent of pancakes as she walks into the cafeteria does it ring the same. It's not Lucinda Guthrie who has woken before the sun rises to fix breakfast. There is something that leaves her unsettled and she can't quite figure out what, no matter how hard she tries.

It dawns on her when she's in the middle of a diagnostic report on the Danger Room; fixing a few dents the room has taken during the training exercises from earlier in the day.

She misses home.

( I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run And I had the best days with you )

Paige Guthrie doesn't understand her power. She's read countless textbooks, hundreds of scientific articles provided by Hank and yet she's still no closer to understanding how her body morphs as she tears it away than when she first developed her power. She doesn't know why sometimes if she thinks hard about a particular substance her skin will peel away to reveal it but at other times it will only reveal skin beneath.

She doesn't know why her clothes are lost in the process and why sometimes her transformation will last for hours and yet other times for only a few moments. Her hair can become harder than rock and her body's weight will change depending on the weight of the material she's suddenly become. When she first had her power she'd been able to transform into animals. That was how she'd followed Sam and Tabitha all those years ago and saved X-Force's life.

She hasn't been able to replicate that since then, no matter how hard she tries.

For all the knowledge Paige has gained she still manages to feel like a prisoner in her own skin.

ooc: set back in the Generation X days. littlepaffs used with permission and looooooooove.

Paige was used to noise. Really she was. You didn't live in a house with nine siblings and not learn how to filter out at least some of the constant chatter. Yet, this girl, her roommate was breaking through every barrier Paige had perfected for tuning out the noise. She wasn't even sure how the girl was doing it. She didn't talk more than Elizabeth and her pitch wasn't anywhere near as high as Joelle's but god, would she ever shut up?

Paige wondered if she just kept looking at the book Ms. Frost had assigned if the girl, Jubilee, would figure out that she was busy. Glancing up at her new roommate, she doubted it. "...so I told him there was just no way no how that was going to work," Jubilee continued, shoving shirts into the dresser. "But did they listen--do they ever listen? No. Totally sad, chica. And like what else could I do but gape and stare after..."

Okay, would nodding along work? Maybe then Paige could figure out a new trick for tuning this new chatter out. Otherwise she did not know how she was going to get the time to read this assigned book and all the supplemental ones Ms. Frost had mentioned before Friday.

It did work, for nearly ten minutes before the popping started. Paige glanced up to see the biggest bubblegum bubble--which was saying a lot, she had brothers and there had been contests--nearly overtaking the girl's face. "I ain't sure that's such a good idea..." Paige warned. She knew from experience what would happen next. Jeb's hair had been nearly shaved off after his blew up in his face.

It took all of Paige's self-control not to burst into laughter as the bubble burst, coating the girl and a few other objects in their room in the sticky substance. Jubilee stared in surprised horror at her, shocked speechless. "This reminds me of the time I blew this one bubble and got it in the Hankster's hair..."

Apparently not shocked speechless. As Paige watched the girl begin to clean herself off she couldn't help but think that she'd never understand the language that was Jubilation Lee.

Paige Guthrie doesn't know what she thinks anymore. She had come home prepared to be as mad with her older brother as when he had suddenly appeared back in her life last week. She was ready to ignore him, though politely so she didn't have to deal with her mother's anger, and enjoy seeing her other siblings. She had missed them, especially Hannah, and a weekend home would do her good.

It should have been easy to continue her cycle of anger. Sam had left without word and for all they'd known he had been dead or dying or...worse. She wasn't sure what "worse" meant but there were things worse than death. She was sure of that.

Except it was hard to stay mad when he was living and breathing and making funny faces at Hannah and giving Lewis lectures and Laura piggyback rides. He was acting like Sammy and not Cannonball and Paige realized it wasn't Sammy that she was even mad at. It was Cannonball. That's who had left them, who always left them and would continue to leave them.

Here at the farm he wasn't that leader. He was just Sammy and Paige loved Sammy with all her heart and she knew she always would.

But she was still going to be mad at him for a little while longer.

Paige Guthrie rarely swore and usually when she did it was a phrase she'd learned long ago from her older brother that made no sense to anyone but the two of them. It had been the only way to get around Mama Guthrie's strict policy on swear words and a guilty little indulgence between the two siblings. But right now, as she was put on hold again, Paige was beginning to wonder if that entire saying about honey and vinegar and flies was wrong.

All she wanted to do was build this crib. Jubilee was only a few weeks shy of her due date and little Cati was going to need a crib to sleep in. Paige could build and dismantle computers, hell she was the one in charge of fixing the Danger Room when it went on the fritz now, so what could possibly be so hard about building a crib?

The answer to that was apparently everything.

Firstly, the directions were in Swedish. Secondly, the diagrams to go along with those unreadable directions looked as though they'd been created by a two year old. And now, she'd been on hold for nearly an hour and fifteen minutes with the company's support line. All she wanted to know was why she had six pieces still. The crib looked safe. It didn't shake but she wanted to make sure these pieces weren't needed. It would be nice if the crib didn't come crashing down around a newborn infant.

A voice came on the phone and Paige breathed a sigh of relief. "Your call is very important to us. Please continue to hold until our next representative is available."

Paige groaned as the waiting music started again. This was going to take forever.

Have ya heard from Sammy?

Do ya honestly think I ain't gonna sing ta high heaven when I do? Do ya think I'm gonna be hoardin' that information ta myself? No I ain't heard from him. No I ain't sure where he is or what he's doin' or when he's comin' back.

STOP ASKIN' ME.

An'...the worst, I ain't even able ta yell that. How am I supposed ta tell an eight year old that she might never see her older brother again? I ain't doin' it. Ma that is on yer shoulders. Hell. It's on his. He can come back from wherever he decided ta up an' go an' can look inta her eyes an' tell Han that he might not be comin' back. I ain't doin' it.

I. Give. Up.

Y'all can deal with this mess of a situation cause I ain't doin' it anymore.

Here's a quarter, call someone that cares, cause I don't.

Not anymore.

Jono an' I have a beta fish. He's lil an' blue an' I think Jono an' I keep buyin' him new things every few days. Like he was in this one bowl but Jono insisted he couldn't breathe or move around so we got him a bigger one. An' he has his own lil guitar in there like his Mama an' Daddy do. It's red though. Red an' white. He's also got a lil' Scuba Diver cause then he has a friend.

Ya can't really have two beta fish cause they'll end up killin' one another. Even if'n ya keep them in separate bowls ya can't have them anywhere near on another cause they'll charge the glass an' get hurt. An' Fishy ain't allowed ta get hurt. Ain't ever allowed ta get hurt. I try not ta think about when he'll...

Anyway, we ain't really needin' another pet right now. Ain't like we'd have the room for it. Our room is kinda small but I don't think Jono minds. I know I don't. I like the close quarters. I think I'd like ta have a dog someday. We had a few back home when I was a kid. But I ain't got the time for a puppy right now an' ya gotta be able ta devote time ta somethin' so small.

So we got our Fishy an' that's enough for right now.

My heart is sick. Ain't like Hank can do anythin' ta help it. Ain't that kinda sickness. This is the kind where ya try an' try ta do the things that make ya happy an' everythin' jus' falls flat. Nothin' seems quite right an' ya know why but there ain't a single thing ya can do ta fix it.

He ain't even called. Not Ma. Not me. No one seems ta have heard from him an' as mad as I am at Sam for leavin' I'm more scared than anythin'. He ain't ever been gone this long without checkin' in an' all my thoughts turn awful. What if'n he an' Cable are lost somewhere or he's hurt. What if'n he's already dead? Whaddaya do? Ain't a single thing I can do an' my heart knows that. Even if'n my mind ain't quite caught up ta it.

I don't like closin' my eyes ta sleep. I try though cause Jono gets all sad-faced if'n I try an' stay up. Plus I like the way he holds me. That at least helps me ta feel safe. But when I close my eyes I remember Sam dead an' the blood an' I keep thinkin' what if he already is again? What if'n Cable was wrong an' he ain't ever comin' back?

I don't wanna live in a world without my big brother.

I ain't sure how I can.

Paige Guthrie has always looked up to her older brother. Sammy had always been held on a pedestal in her eyes and he could do virtually no wrong. Annoying brother-sister squabbles didn't count in her mind, not that they had too many of those. That adoration had all come crashing to a horrible end with one broken promise.

He wasn't going to just leave again. He was supposed to be an X-Man, not go off with Cable on some crazy mission. Not put himself in harm's way. He was supposed to be thinking about weddings and marrying Tabby in a year. None of that was going to happen now. He and Tabby were over and Paige couldn't blame the girl. There were only so many times a person could be left behind before they broke all ties. Did he even realize how many dreams he had destroyed by walking away?

All the little hopes and dreams she'd had were altered. Paige couldn't see him walking her down the aisle anymore. She couldn't see him holding any of her future children anymore. She couldn't see him in her life. That was probably what hurt the most, how easily he'd been able to simply go, to leave them all behind. For Cable. Always for Cable.

Paige hated that man. Hated him more than anything in the world and hoped that wherever Sammy was that the path he'd chosen was worth it. Things wouldn't be the same if he ever decided to come back.

Paige Guthrie does not like Ireland. The two times she has come to this country, to Cassidy Keep, have left a bad taste in her mouth. The first trip had involved a disappearing Keep and fairies. This one involved Mr. Cassidy and a crypt she has no intention of ever entering. Logan and Kurt are more than capable of going into the dark alone and Paige doesn't need any proof that Mr. Cassidy is truly himself. Her senses might be able to lie but her heart knows its him. That is all the proof she needs.

Ireland is cold and the chill mixed with her inability to sleep is draining all the mirth from her usually vibrant nature. She is desperate to go home. Something is terribly wrong there. She feels it whenever she speaks with Jono or Jubilee. Something happened between them, something neither of them want to discuss. As long as she is an ocean away there is little headway she can do to try and figure out what occurred. Both of them are as stubborn as she is, maybe more so.

Her worry is making it even harder to sleep and all she wants is to curl up beside her boyfriend. His heart beat is the only thing able to lull her to sleep, the only thing to help halt her ever-going mind. Paige has a list of things she plans to do when she sees Jono but her first task is to drag him to bed so she can finally rest.

And then, maybe, she'll be able to finally dream.

"WHAT?"

Paige winced and pulled the phone away from her ear. She hadn't expected Hannah's reaction to be quite that loud. "Whaddaya mean ya ain't comin' home for Christmas!?" the little girl squealed, her voice rising with each word.

"Jono an' I are attendin'--"

"Jono an' you. Jono an' you!" Hannah interrupted, growling as she did so. "I hate Jono!"

"Hannah!" Paige gasped, astonished by her little sister's vehemence. "Don't ya go sayin' things like that."

She could hear the little girl crying now and it was breaking Paige's heart. "I do! I do! I do!" Hannah shouted, and Paige wondered how long it would be before their mother confiscated the phone. "He ain't yer family! We're yer family! We are! Me!"
( Read more... )

Otherwise titled as: Or oh crap, Paige sees how Sammy feels when she gets annoyed about Cable(bah!)...

Set Thursday afternoon

"I don't understand why you are walkin' around like someone just took the last cookie from you, Hannah Louise Guthrie."

Paige ducked back behind the doorway to the kitchen. She wanted to listen to her mother and baby sister's conversation without interrupting. Paige was curious as to why the usually vibrant little girl had slowly become more sullen as the day passed. She'd stopped talking after dinner and that alone showed that something was going on inside Hannah's head. The girl was always talking, always bouncing, but for the last hour she'd been sitting on the couch looking around glumly as everyone else laughed and ate dessert.

"I don't want a cookie," Hannah grumbled, and Paige could almost see the eight year old crossing her arms in annoyance. "I don't want stupid pie or ice cream."

"Then it's high time to voice what you do want," Lucinda Guthrie replied, not even a hint of annoyance or exhaustion to her voice. Paige didn't know how her mother did it, how she was able to always be so calm with all of them.

"I don't wanna sleep with Mel an' Laura. I wanna sleep with Paigey!" There was a bump and Paige was sure her little sister had kicked something. "Why she's gotta share a room with stupid Jub'lee an' Tabby? She sees them always. She never sees me." There was sniffling now and Paige's heart about broke in two. "Doesn't she love me anymore?"

( Read more... )

Ever since Paige was able to write she'd been keeping a journal. Her earliest versions had been simply been updates about her days but as she grew older she'd begun writing down her thoughts. Sometimes it was easier to jot down her hopes and dreams, her nightmares and fears, than try to voice them. Once they were scribbled down onto the paper it allowed Paige to relax, to almost believe in things such as happily ever after.

And then the incident with the Tracy girl stealing her journal and blabbing about her intimate longings in regards to a certain teammate occurred and Paige had stopped writing. Only Jubilee and Angelo had heard it, and she knew the two of them wouldn't repeat a word, but the embarrassment had cut through Paige. She wasn't stupid, she knew the world wasn't a very nice place, not always anyway, but whatever had happened to simple common courtesy? Her private thoughts were supposed to have remained just that. Not become the entertainment for some bored teenage girl.

She hadn't even managed to keep the journal afterward. It just didn't seem as though it was a safe option and Paige had tossed it into the fire one night, silently watching her hopes and dreams become nothing but smoke and ash.

It's been a year since the incident. A year since she lost one more layer of innocence. Paige wonders how long it will be before she is forced to shed all the layers. She hopes she never has to find out.

OOC: This comes about cause of rereading Age of Apocalypse! So set in the lovely AoA world, which seriously was NOT at all lovely...at all...ever. Seriously it was like the universe of doom and despair...




Technically it's Vincente who is the first hurt and as much as Paige is worried for her friend it's not until Jono falls that she knows everything has gone to hell. Not two seconds later and Skin is taken out. She's not sure either of them are ever going to get back up and the back up army just keeps coming. This is more than anything they've ever trained for and Paige nearly stumbles as she tries to keep hold of her injured friend on her back.

She's looking desperately for Colossus or Kitty. Where are the adults? Where is the little girl they were here to save? Where is anyone? She spots Colossus and Kitty up ahead, the little blonde haired girl in her leader's arms and shakes her head. No. She doesn't like the look in Colossus's eyes. Or the look Kitty has when she looks back at her.

"Don't leave us! Vincente has stopped breathin'!" Paige shouts, shifting her friend. "He ain't gonna survive another attack!" Her screams are drowned out and she watches in horror as the adults disappear into the wall, leaving them to fend for themselves. "PETER!"

There are just too many hands, too many bodies and suddenly Paige is drowning in a mass of guards. She screams as she loses grip of Vincente and tries desperately to get to the bottom of the mass, to escape. Somehow she manages to get to the bottom and pushes at the bodies on the floor, crying hard when she realizes that it's Jono. She grabs at his shirt, shaking him as she pushes at the hands and limbs trying to pull her away.

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" she cries over and over, not wanting to believe the boy she's loved for the last year could possibly be dead.

She loses even him as she's lifted up and away and Paige can't help the screams and tears. She wants to be strong but what is the point? They left them. No one was going to come. Peter and Kitty left them.

"Wake up! Jono! Skin! Mondo! Someone! Anyone!"

But there is no one left but the monsters.

ooc: The Tabby in this is ticktabby and she was happily used with permission.

Awesome was not usually a word found in Paige Guthrie’s vocabulary. She heard it plenty from Jubilee and even from Tabitha on occasion now that the older girl was residing at the mansion. It just wasn't one that Paige ever really thought about using. She preferred to use a plethora of other words. At this particular moment, as she peered out of Jono’s room into the barren hallway, she couldn't help but think about how awesome it would be if she could make it back to her bedroom without being spotted.

Usually this wouldn't have been a big deal. She'd been to Jono's room plenty in the last couple of days and hadn't thought twice about leaving it when others were around. Of course none of those times had she been leaving a little before seven in the morning while still in her pajamas. Not that they'd done anything, or well, nothing the two of them hadn't done before when she'd visited him previously.

( Little baby sister's gonna lose her mind )

I ain't a fan of innuendos, an' not just cause usually they're rather derogatory ta the person who they're about. I'm a straight forward kinda gal. Beatin' around the bush is somethin' that annoys me. I'd rather a person just tell me what it is they're thinkin' or feelin'. Which is probably why Jubilee is my best friend cause she has absolutely no problem speakin' whatever is on her mind. Ever.

I get that it can be awful hard ta explain some things or even ta just talk sometimes an' I accept that have ya met my boyfriend?. We're all comfortable with different levels of intimacy in our conversations. Ain't any one way that's right or wrong an' I guess we should all learn ta work with those that don't think or react exactly the way we do. An' this ain't ta say I'm the most verbal person out there. I clam up just as good as the next person.

Certain people Jono know exactly how ta make me get all tongue tied an' gape. Usually in a good way. Or too flustered ta even put a coherent thought together. That one is kinda fun even if'n it does leave me blushin' somethin' fierce. An' my blushes show way too easily even when I am tan. Can be rather annoyin'.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, innuendos. Not a fan.

That'd apparently be the Jell-O incident. Who knew helpin' out a friend could have such dire consequences. An' technically I'm pretty sure the entire ordeal could be considered a science experiment. How many boxes does it take ta fill a bathtub with wiggly jiggly Jell-o? It takes quite a few. Especially dependin' on the size of the tub in question. Not that I wanna be testin' out that particular hypothesis. That was definitely a one time event that shouldn't ever be repeated.

I think every single one of my teammates has had their say about it an' I ain't exactly sure it wasn't just ta see the ol' Guthrie face blush. We Guthries are notorious for goin' completely beet red. Certain people that'll remain nameless enjoy usin' that ta their advantage. They also like usin' names like "Hayseed" on folks.

...if'n the other students try ta replicate the experiment does that mean it's my fault now for havin' said somethin'?

I have a feelin' I'm gonna be networkin' more computers tomorrow.

ooc: Based on comic canon

57

can ever prepare you for finding your best friends strung up to die. That day will always be branded in my mind. The fear and horror are as real today when I remember it as they were back then. You can't quite speak, can't quite move at first either. I think it's the shock. No matter how many horrors I'd seen finding Jubilee and Angelo stopped my brain and body from functioning for a few moments.

Stupid reaction to have at that moment. Who knew if there were anymore members of the so-called Church still around waiting to ambush the rest of us. Thankfully we were able to get them down. Warren's new found ability to heal others with his blood was used and they were good as new. Physically at least. I don't think anyone can be emotionally healed from an experience like that. It takes more than a healed body to move on. It rocked us all that the Church of Humanity had been able to get onto the grounds and crucify mutants, our friends, so easily.

I still can't fathom anyone being able to justify doing that to another human being. The problem was they didn't see us as being human. We were pure evil to them. The devil's spawn and we needed to be eradicated. But we survived and we moved on because that is what the X-Men do.

We survive.

Angelo wasn't so lucky. Warren's blood couldn't help him. Nothing could help him.

Depends on who you're tryin' to negotiate with an' what exactly you're negotiatin' for. I mean I ain't exactly gonna use the same steps on my Ma as I am on Warren or even Sammy. Each person is gonna get handled a lil' differently. Ya gotta know who you're talkin' to an' exactly what they're gonna want out of the situation. It's all about checks and balances. Most negotiations end in somethin' close to a compromise, well if they end amicably. If'n they don't then usually the whole point in negotiatin' kinda went sour.

With my siblin's I got the 'I'm older an' wiser' card. This works on them most of the time, though not on Sammy. He can use that card on me. It can be rather annoyin' an' usually ends with the two of us yellin' at one another about what we wanted. Ya try negotiatin' television time with nine brothers an' sisters. It's hell. No one is gonna get exactly what they wanted. Ya gotta learn to work together.

So I give ya steps ta watchin' what ya want at the Guthrie house:

1. Make a pact with a few of the others. If they scratch your back then you'll scratch theirs.

2. Know who's shows are gonna be interferin' with yours. Dependin' on who it is ya just might have a way ta get them interested in somethin' away from the television. Like if it involves the twins tell them ya saw a ladybug an' they'll be outside bug huntin' for hours. Of course if it's Elizabeth ain't nothin' gonna get her away from 'Dancin' with the Stars'.

3. Have somethin' on someone. It's amazin' how useful information about sneakin' out at night can be used ta get the show ya want. Of course that one was always used against me...

4. Have a guest over. Ain't no way Ma is gonna let anyone holler in front of guests.

5. If all else fails, get Ma to enjoy the show. That's also why 'lizabeth is always able to watch that dancin' show.

Luckily, Warren has more than one television so if we ain't wantin' to watch the same thing then we go to different rooms. Of course, then it can become a problem of who wants ta lounge on the sofa an' watch it on the flat screen...

392

I ain't sure there is any event I'd actually want or qualify for in the Olympics but I sure do like watchin' it. There's just somethin' about seein' men an' women that have trained so hard representin' their countries that really means a lot. An' it nearly brings the world together, never completely together but it is a step. I ain't gettin' inta the politics of it bein' in China, go read the news if'n ya wanna talk about that stance but seein' all these different countries in one area an' the torch an' everythin' really is movin'.

Warren an' I watched the openin' ceremonies last night. Well, I watched it while he worked on a report that needed to be in today about the foundation. I think that was merely his excuse to have the laptop out. I swear I saw Solitaire opened once or twice. But the singin' an' the drummers. The coordination required to actually pull that off is amazin'.

Not that I even got to see the entire performance. Feathers can be very distractin'.